15

Today

I am gray inside today.

There is an ache

nagging –

migrating around my body,

moving from here to there.

I am not moved today,

by the new snow

or the morning light.

I am stuck today

in a repeating

loop

of memory

traveling back in time,

to this same day

minus fifteen years.

The smell of woodsmoke today

elicits tears

to pour down cheeks

reddened by wind.

Thoughts of my childhood today

turn black and shrivel

like newspaper kissing fire,

and changing form

until it’s only

ash.

The Big Three

So, to coincide with the Olympic unit the Social Studies teacher I work with has been working on this week, I threw in a quick little unit on Greek Mythology. The Olympics are Greek... it fits. Plus, I love Greek Mythology. Always have. Always will. I often wish that I lived in a society that worshipped a whole pantheon of gods as opposed to this whole single God business. It just makes more sense to me... anyways... when you're talking about Greek gods, they talk about "The Big Three" - Zeus, Hades and Poseidon. They were the first big gods. The ones to reckon with. The ones with the weaponry who defeated the Titans. Sounds good to me. I wish at least one was female, but you can't have everything.

The Big Three I'm referring to here is the last three weekends of my life that will be committed to working at this unnamed farm in southern NH. Three more weekends... six more days of BS and then my life will return to some semblance of normalcy. I'll have time to breathe, time to enjoy and I'll be able to spend time with my love doing what WE want to do. Hallelujah. It's getting closer.

F*&$uary

The month of February should legally change it's name to F*&$uary. You can thank my mom for that idea. I stole it since the "F" word that replaces the f-e-b is one of my personal favorite words. In fact, I've been told I use it far too often, but f*&$ that!

This month has, in the past been a very difficult one for me. It's full of unhappy anniversaries and this year, it's just too cold, and too windy. I decided on January 31st that I was going to change my outlook on February this year. I decided I wasn't going to dwell on the negative. All I can say, is that I'm working on it.

I am trying to dwell on the positive instead. I am trying to celebrate the good things and there are plenty of them swimming around. I am happy with my life. I am headed the right direction. Now, if I could just get some sleep, I'd be in good shape!

Today Brought to you by the Letter "C"

Sometimes things just strike you funny. Especially when you're tired... at least for me it happens more when I am tired.

Last night after cooking a fantastic dinner on the woodstove, we decided that we wanted some ice cream. We hopped in the truck and took a spin around the corner to the 7-11. We each grabbed a pint. We got to the register. She rang them in and we realized that neither of us had our wallet. Oops. Oh well. Change of plans. We went back out and got in the truck and for some unknown reason, it wouldn't start. We tried and tried. We sat there, we asked, we begged.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

He called his parents because the truck belongs to them to find out where to have it towed and before we got out to start walking, he decided to try one last time.

It started.

We left.

Fast.

When we got back to the house, the fun began... Casey and Cyle went to get ice cream. He wanted Cobbler, I wanted Chocolate. When we went out the Chevrolet Colorado wouldn't start. He made a couple Calls. When we got home, he ate Craisins. I ate Clementines. We were Cranky. The "C's" kept rolling and I started laughing. I Choked on the Clementine and it came out my nose. It made me Cry.

There was more, but I can't document all of it...

Funny yes.

Entirely appropriate?

No.