Finally

So thank the lord, I'm finally feeling better. Honestly, yesterday I had serious concerns that I was going to be torn from this world and into the next very prematurely. I even had to take today and stay home again. I'm not one to stay home and it killed me to be without the kids for another day, but I am back to my normal self and will be there to enjoy them tomorrow!

I was at least productive with my time today. I took all of the writing that I have been doing recently and got it all compiled into one file on the good old laptop. I have been toying with the idea of self-publishing a book of poetry and now that my super friend Caroline self-published her novel, I'm back on the bandwagon. There's a great website lulu.com that is supposed to make it pretty easy and you can even get your very own ISBN number! It costs a little money, but if you have your own, it means that you are truly the publisher and you own all of the rights. I have collected a whopping 82 pages of poetry, and now I just have to figure out the organizational end of things and create a cover. I have to say, I'm pretty excited about that. 

That being said, here's a poem I discovered in one of my journals that I had no recollection of writing:

Dying Inside

There’s a noose around my heart.

The executioner skipped my neck

and instead

went right to the center of my being

and started to squeeze.

I will not be so lucky as to just break my neck

and be paralyzed for the rest of my life.

I will not be lost in a coma

until I get unplugged.

I will die.

My heart struggles

to push blood through veins

like a neap tide

when water neither comes nor goes.

My arteries are half full

and draining

and at last

I’ll have that pale English complexion

I started out with.